


Deviations and Changes

by loudmouthgeek



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-23
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-26 14:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/651241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loudmouthgeek/pseuds/loudmouthgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The smallest differences can lead to sweeping alterations of a progression of events. Quinn asked Rachel to leave her alone and let her deal with the aftermath of BabyDaddyGate. What if Rachel said no? After all, wasn't Quinn's being alone a problem to begin with?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sectionals

**Author's Note:**

> A lot at the familiar (and sometimes fabricated) Faberry scenes as they would play out given some slightly different circumstances. Chapter titles will indicate where they fit into the timeline, as though most of them aren't obvious enough on their own.

Quinn’s mind is all over the place, wondering how it came to this, what they’re going to do now, how they’re going to survive, where their next meal is going to come from, and a million other things when she’s snapped out of all of it by the absolute last person she expects to see right now.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel says in a soft voice. The honesty of the sentiment is written all over her face. Quinn knows she means it. It’s not that Rachel is incapable of lying or is somehow above. It’s just that she has a horrendously shitty poker face, something she’ll have to work on if she ever wants to realize her dreams of Broadway stardom. “I fully understand if you want to beat me up. If you can, just try to avoid my nose.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Quinn replies and surprisingly, even to Quinn, it’s the truth. She’s not completely soulless. She knows what she has been doing to Finn was just all kinds of wrong. She was just too cowardly to do anything about it and she tells Rachel that. “All you did was what I wasn’t brave enough to do. Tell the truth.”

“I was selfish when I told him,” Rachel says settling down on the bench next to her. Quinn didn’t really invite Rachel to join her but she didn’t tell her to buzz off or call her any of her parade of horrible nicknames either, so… “I wanted to break you two up, so he would want to be with me.” Rachel’s not exactly sure why she’s trying to talk Quinn into being mad at her, but it’s just sort of her natural inclination to fill any silence with words and it’s on her mind.

“And now neither of us have him,” Quinn replies. There’s long moment of silence that Rachel has to struggle not to fill because it’s obvious how much more there is on Quinn’s mind and maybe Quinn will take the chance to voice her concerns if Rachel can just wait it out. “I have hurt so many people.” Rachel’s not sure if Quinn means with this particular lie or just in general but she’s still in a verbal holding pattern trying to silently coax more out of Quinn. “Can you go now? I just really want to be alone.”

Rachel is about to stand up and grant Quinn her wish when she sees Noah out of the corner of her eye, obviously lurking waiting to talk to Quinn. She shouldn’t have to deal with him right now. He’s only going to try to pressure her into a relationship with him when she’s just minutes out of her relationship with Finn. Just because they’re having a child together doesn’t mean they have to be romantically entangled. This is the 21st century, after all, not the 1950’s. “I think being alone was the problem to begin with, wasn’t it?” Rachel says. Quinn looks at her a mixture of anger and curiosity on her face. “I know we don’t really know one another very well, beyond the very most superficial layers, but I… recognize a lonely girl when I see one, Quinn. I encounter one every day in the mirror.”

“I have friends,” Quinn says and even she knows that’s pretty much a load of crap.

“Perhaps,” Rachel says being generous, “But you don’t have a confidant… a dear friend who you can talk to about everything because you know they’ll never judge you for anything. If you had someone like that then the situation would have never reached this point. A caring friend would have tried to get you to resolve this situation privately, months ago, but no one did. Did they?”

Quinn stares silently at the wall on the far side of the hall for a long while. Even now she can’t find it in herself to be angry at Rachel for pushing like she is. By all rights she should be but it’s just not coming, mostly because Rachel’s not wrong. “No,” she finally admits. “But do you really expect me to confide my deepest, darkest secrets to you, considering what you just did?”

“You didn’t confide that in me, Quinn,” Rachel explains. She senses that Quinn’s doing her best to push Rachel away so she’s doing her best to remain even toned. “I figured it out, and I know I shouldn’t have told. I didn’t think about it from your point of view, about how you likely felt you had no choice but to maintain the lie, that you had nowhere else to go...”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Quinn says bitterly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Quinn. What kind of friend would I be, if I didn’t offer you the guest room at my house?”

“Who said we were friends?” Quinn bites at her, still trying to rile her, upset her, drive her off.

“I did,” Rachel states confidently, “Just now.” Another long silence falls between them and Quinn gives Rachel a skeptical expression. “Look, if nothing else, you’re going to need somewhere to stay tonight. I can’t imagine Finn not telling his mother, nor can I expect she will want to continue accepting responsibility for you after… everything, so at the very least, you can stay with me until you figure out something more to your liking tomorrow or in a few days.”

“And you dads will just… be okay with that?”

“To be honest, they may not be entirely thrilled with it,” Rachel admits, “But I can assure they would be far less thrilled with the idea of a homeless, pregnant teenage girl sleeping on the streets on a cold December night. They will deal with the awkwardness.”

“Why are you pushing for this? Why do you care?”

“Because you need someone to confide in and you don’t have anyone… and neither do I,” Rachel admits, “So I think we should resolve to stop looking at each other as adversaries and give each other a chance to be friends.”

“Are you going to go after Finn again?” Quinn asks her voice is so soft she’s not sure Rachel even heard her even though she’s sitting right there. She begins to suspect that Rachel didn’t when no answer is immediately forthcoming.

She looks to Rachel who is already looking at her gnawing on her bottom lip. “I…” her thought gets hung up in her throat because she wants to be honest about her still very present desire to be with Finn, but she can see that it’s now at odds with her desire to be friends with Quinn. “I won’t pursue him,” Rachel concedes at last, “but if he asks me out, I can’t swear that I’ll say no.”

“Well,” Quinn draws out, “I can’t swear that I won’t get upset if you say yes.”

Rachel’s eyes bulge and she forces herself not to grin like an idiot. “Does that mean…?”

“Yes,” Quinn says softly again, “At least for a couple of nights.”

Rachel stops fighting the urge to smile and then in the blink of an eye… less than that, really… her arms a flung around Quinn’s neck squeezing for dear life. Quinn stiffens initially but relaxes after only a minute and really it’s not exactly unpleasant.

 


	2. Journey to Regionals

“You can _not_ be serious,” Quinn says. She flops back onto the uncomfortable hospital bed. “Your mother, who’s now _twice_ rejected your efforts to get to know her, wants to adopt my daughter. In what universe is that a thing that you are okay with, Rachel?”

Rachel’s pacing the room still sporting the gold dress and flats that they’d been wearing hours earlier at Regionals. They’d lost and poor Matt had been left there to accept their puny trophy by himself. Glee Club was done and that was a drama for another day. Right now her best friend was in dire need of her help. “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m okay with it, Quinn, but Baby Beth needs a home and what’s the alternative? Surrendering her to the state and from there to what? An orphanage? Foster care? That’s unacceptable. She needs a stable home with a parent or parents that are going to love her, not just do the bare minimum for a government stipend.”

“My mom said…”

“That you could bring her home,” Rachel interrupts, “That the two of you can raise her. I know, you’ve said, but Quinn, never in eight months have you even mentioned the thought of you raising this child. From the moment you’ve moved in, it’s been about finding her a good home, and admittedly, I got busy with all the Jesse drama and didn’t push you to _actually_ find her that good home. I’m sorry for falling down on my best friend duties like that.”

“Rachel, that’s not really your responsibility to…”

“Plus,” Rachel not really even listening to her continues, “you said not even an hour ago that you aren’t even sure if you’re going to move back to your mother’s house yet, which I think is wise because you don’t know the situation with her and your horrible excuse for a father, you don’t know what her financial situation is going to be, you don’t know if her sobriety will last, and you have no clue as to what level of stability there will be there for _you_ , much less for an infant. And while, of course, you could always come back home… that is to say, to my house, if things don’t work with your mother. You don’t want to be shuffling Beth back and…”

“Rachel!” Quinn finally has to shout to stop her monologue. Rachel stops in her tracks and falls silent, finally. “You’re rambling,” Quinn says, “that means there’s something on your mind but you’re avoiding talking about it, probably because you think it’s going to upset me.” Rachel folds her arms across her chest and sighs defeated, meaning Quinn’s hit the nail on the head. “So are you going to tell me what it is?” Quinn asks hiking an eyebrow, “Or am I going to have to get out of this bed and come tickle you until you do?”

“Finn told me that he loves me,” Rachel says eyes downcast.

“Oh, so _that’s_ why you’re saying that you’re okay with this,” Quinn says.

"No, that’s..." Rachel stops to take a deep breath before looking back up and continuing, "I'm saying that you should do this because it's the best option you have available to you. Now, that being said I may have also been hoping that my being supportive of this would serve to alleviate the sting of my desperate desire to date your ex-boyfriend."

"You can't just… negotiate one feeling for another, Rachel. That's absurd," Quinn said, "You can't buy forgiveness just because you have this fairy tale idea of getting the boy of your dreams and being best friends with the head cheerleader."

"It's not a fairy tale, Quinn," Rachel barks, "It's a girl who has been there for me for months and a boy who genuinely loves me."

"And that being there for you for months doesn't earn me any loyalty?"

"Yes, of course it does," Rachel says, "You think I'm not _conflicted_ over this? Of course I am, but lest you forget this isn't the sacred rules of the sisterhood of women, Quinn. He didn't break your heart, you broke his."

"You think I've forgotten that? On today of all days?" That shuts Rachel up nice and quickly but that only makes Quinn feel even more like crap. "Look, Rachel, I know you said this was coming and I had time to like accept it or whatever but that doesn't mean that I actually did. I doubt there's ever going to come a time when I'm seriously, enthusiastically happy that you're dating Finn."

"I'm not asking you to be happy about it," Rachel says, "I just need you to accept it and promise me that it won't affect our friendship. Because...okay, I know I'm asking a lot here but please look at it from my perspective. How many chances at love is a girl like me going to get?"

"A girl like you?” Quinn echoes. “You mean someone who is beautiful and talented and caring and..."

"Obnoxious,” Rachel cuts her off, “and headstrong and self-centered and short."

Quinn nods her head steadily, "You have many positive and negative qualities, just like every other person in the world, and might I add that you dating Finn would be the third boyfriend you've had this year which is three times more boys than I've ever dated, so please stop with the attitude that you have to take whatever you can get. I think the only thing I like less than the idea of you dating Finn is the idea that you think Finn is the best that you can do."

"Whether or not he’s the best I can do, I have feelings for him and I want to pursue those feelings," Rachel says, "But I can't stand the idea of you moving back to your mother's and our relationship going back to the way it was. I don't want you to go back to having no outlet and resorting to slushies and cruel nicknames as a means to express yourself."

"Rachel," Quinn closes her eyes and sighs, "You and your fathers have shown me extraordinary kindness these last months, kindness I had no right to expect, so no matter what else happens I won't go back to being cruel to you, I promise."

"And our friendship?"

"I'll try," she says, "but I can't promise that."

Rachel looks at her silently for a long time, willing her to make a promise but eventually she understands that it won't ever come. “I don't want you to feel like I've chosen him over you and that you have to pack up and go back home before you're ready. I promise I won't invite him over while you're still living with us.”

“I appreciate that.”

"And what about Shelby?"

"You're sure you're okay with it?" Quinn asks.

"No," Rachel says figuring that it's now her turn to be 100% painfully honest, "Of course I'm not okay with my mother essentially replacing me but she's going to do it anyway, whether I object or not, whether it's your baby or not. At least this way benefits you in getting the adoptive family you need." Rachel determinedly fights back her tears on the matter. That's for her and her therapist to work out, not her newly postpartum friend. "And with any luck, Beth will inherit Noah's temperament and Shelby with pay for rejecting me."


	3. Duets

“Hey, Quinn, can we talk?” Rachel asks walking into the restroom.

Quinn doesn’t look away from her reflection in the mirror as she touches up her make-up. “What do you want to talk about? Did you come up with another insane plan to test Finn’s commitment to you that will make me look like a bitch and feel like an idiot?”

Rachel is momentarily stunned at the naked anger in Quinn’s voice, remembering Quinn and Santana’s altercation in the hallway the first week of school. Despite the fairly obvious lack of passive in Quinn’s aggressive, Rachel’s reasonably sure that Quinn wouldn’t just attack her, not after everything they’ve been through together, even if things have gotten progressively weirder between them as she and Finn have gotten closer.

“No,” Rachel says, “It’s about Sam. I heard you backed out of doing the duet with him.”

“Seriously?” Quinn says finally looking at her, “Two weeks ago you wanted me to try to steal your boyfriend out from under you and now you’re trying to push me off onto Sam?”

“I was just talking about the duet,” Rachel says.

“No, you aren’t,” Quinn rolls her eyes and looks back to the mirror.

Rachel huffs and looks at the floor to keep Quinn from seeing her smile at being busted. She really loves that Quinn knows her this well. “Okay, fine,” she admits looking back up, “I thought that you guys doing the duet together would show you that he’s a good guy, and that when you guys get the dinner for two at Breadstix, a gift courtesy of the actual winners, Finn and I, since I don’t much care for Breadstix’s meager vegan friendly selection, that you could figure out that you and he could be good for one another. I know that Sam’s confidence about staying is Glee is shaky at best, so being seen with the head cheerleader and prettiest girl in school could give him the social clout to not care what others think. You could find someone who, from what I understand, really likes you that I’m certain would treat you well and you could begin to move on and stop hating Finn so much. Maybe then things could stop being so weird between us.”

“So once again it all boils back down to you,” Quinn says.

“Quinn, I think I made it pretty plain that everyone gets something out of this scenario,” Rachel says. Quinn side eyes her for a second but says nothing. “You and Finn are both so important to me and I just would like for there to be some level of peace between you. I would settle for you to just stop hating him. I miss you, Quinn. Don’t you miss me… at all?”

Quinn sets her make-up brush down, finally and drops her gaze to the sink in front of her. “Of course, I do, Rachel,” she says softly, “But…” She trails off and shakes her head.

Rachel closes the gap between them and gently, cautiously places a hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “But what?” She sees tears welling in Quinn’s eyes that she’s fighting to keep in check. “Quinn, whatever it is, you can tell me. You’re my best friend.”

Quinn sniffs and dabs her eyes with her thumb. “I don’t hate Finn, Rachel. I don’t really even know what my feelings towards him are because I’ve never had any closure to the relationship so I can’t seem to move past him. And now because of that stupid favor I did you, I’ll probably never get the chance to. He’ll never talk to me about our relationship again without thinking I’m trying to lure him away from you.”

Rachel rests her head on Quinn’s shoulder. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Quinn. I had no idea you felt this way or I never would have asked. I… wish I knew what to say, something to make your hurt go away.” Quinn says nothing as she always does in times of high emotions. “You know that I’m of the opinion that the best way to express your heartache is through song.” Quinn huffed out a small laugh. “If you don’t want to be Sam’s partner for the competition, then… well, I think you’re missing out. I think he’d be really good for you if you let him, and you deserve good things, Quinn… but I’ll stop pushing the matter. It’s up to you.”

“I’ll think about it,” Quinn says, “Maybe… if he can quit speaking Na’vi to me.”

“Seems an entirely reasonable request,” Rachel says, “I’ll pass it along and speaking of requests…”

“Another one?” Quinn says incredulously, moving herself out from under Rachel’s head.

“Yes,” Rachel replies with a friendly smile, “I request that after the competition is over and my inevitable victory is declared…”

“Keep dreaming,” Quinn interjected.

“…that you and I close out duets week with what should become the first of many Berry-Fabray duets.”

“Fabray-Berry, I think you mean,” Quinn corrected.


	4. Original Song

Quinn plays the piano for almost ten minutes uninterrupted before she realizes something, Rachel’s still not here. Rachel is Miss Punctuality. Usually she’s the one that’s there fifteen minutes ahead of everyone else to berate the stragglers. How she manages that, no one’s quite sure, but Quinn’s got a secret theory that there’s a time turner on Rachel’s person somewhere. She’s just about to go searching all the bathrooms in case Rachel got slushied when she comes walking on the stage opposite Quinn. “You’re late. You’re never late,” Quinn says, “I found more of that tea you liked. It’s…”

“We’re friends, right?” Rachel asks.

“Uh…”

“I mean, I’m aware that you are generally reticent to actually say the word aloud,” Rachel continues without heed of Quinn’s answer, slowly striding toward Quinn leaving the barrier of the piano between them, “but I understand that actions speak louder words and your actions have generally been that of a friend. You’ve been there when I needed you, usually, stood up for me when it would have benefitted you socially not to, and defended my idea of writing original songs.”

“Yes, Rachel,” Quinn says, “We’re… friends. What you’re point?”

“My point… my point is I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together this year but I thought we were close enough to be honest with each other,” Rachel said visibly squaring her shoulders.

Quinn’s pretty sure she knows where this is going. “Go ahead, ask me.”

“Fine, are you and Finn together?”

“Yes,” Quinn admits and just that simple act feels so good. She stands from the piano bench and makes her way to where Rachel is stood motionless. “It’s been a couple of weeks. We were going to tell you, but we wanted the club to get through Regionals before we said anything. After the huge mess that was Sectionals we just wanted this to go smoothly.” Quinn reading the massively conflicted look on Rachel’s face, “You’ve never needed to be prompted to speak your mind before Rachel, don’t start now.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, Quinn. Now if I may, I’d like to repay that honesty by saying, how could you do this to me?”

“Do what, Rachel?” Quinn asks, “What exactly did I do to you?” Rachel opens her mouth to respond but Quinn cuts her off. “What exactly did I do to you that you didn’t do to me first?”

“You… you… you…” Rachel almost never stammers, so Quinn knows full well that Rachel has no reply.

“Finn and I broke up before Sectionals last year. You and Finn broke up the day of Sectionals this year. You and Finn got together at Regionals last year. Finn and I got back together right before Regionals this year, so I got started a couple of weeks before you did but I had to watch you blatantly pining for him for months beforehand last year so I don’t think that counts for much of a difference. And according to the divine rules of the sisterhood of women, as defined by you, he didn’t break your heart, you broke his, so my dating him isn’t some horrible offence.”

Rachel is near tears. “I still have feelings for him,” she says.

“I still had feelings for him too,” Quinn bites out, “Why do you think we’re back together? Why do you think he could tempt me away from Sam so easily? I never got over him. Just because I don’t stand up in front of Glee Club and sing out my feelings for him at every available opportunity, making everyone else really uncomfortable, doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. But even through all of that, I was still there for you when you needed, listening to you bitch about him and comforting you when he said or did something hurtful. Are you a big enough person to do the same for me?” Rachel’s jaw is set, clenched in visible anger. “Or does the world play by different rules when he’s _your_ ex-boyfriend?”

“Why are you being so mean?”

“It’s called tough love, Rachel, and you are in desperate need of some,” Quinn says, “Do you want to know how this story plays out? I get Finn, you get heartbroken, and then Finn and I stay here and start a family. I’ll become a successful real estate agent, and Finn will take over Kurt’s dad’s tire shop.” Quinn’s voice breaks with emotion. She hates her vision of her own future, but that’s for another time. “You don’t belong here, Rachel, and you can’t hate me for helping to send you on your way.”

“No,” Rachel shakes her head resolutely, “I’m not giving up on Finn. It’s not over between us.”

“Yes, it is!” Quinn snaps at her. She really hadn’t meant to. It’s just that well… “You’re so frustrating, and that’s why you can’t write a good song…Because you live in this little schoolgirl fantasy of life. Rachel, if you keep looking for that happy ending, then you are never going to get it right.” Quinn turns to look back the piano bench. “So we’re done with that, and why don’t we just return to our work, okay?”

“No, I think I’m gonna write this song on my own,” Rachel says and quickly flees the stage in silent tears.


	5. Born This Way

The girls at sat side by side in the waiting room of the doctor's office, Quinn flipping through a gossip magazine that is, shockingly not out of date, while Rachel just sits nervously. Things are still weird between them. There’s more space between them than is necessary and it’s too quiet. Rachel hates any silence, much less awkward silences to say nothing of awkward silences between her and Quinn. Rachel's never been especially good at small talk. She and Quinn have never needed it before. Prior to the last few weeks their relationship has vacillated between getting along great and talking about everything and not speaking at all so this in between thing is weird. "So anything new in the world of celebrity gossip?"

"Taylor Swift is researching her new album," Quinn comments.

"Meaning she's dating a new guy?" Rachel smiled.

Quinn nods with a smile, "I keep waiting for one of these guys to record a song called 'Maybe You're the Problem'."

"Or perhaps a friend of hers to make one called, 'You're Famous Now, It's Okay for You to be Picky About Who You Date.'"

Quinn scrunches up her face and looks at Rachel. "That's a bit of clunky title," she remarks.

"Not for a Fallout Boy song," Rachel smiles sticking the tip of her tongue between her teeth. Quinn laughs softly at her dorky friend and turns back to her magazine.

“Thank you for doing this,” Rachel says.

“Don’t thank me,” Quinn says, “I have no intention of actually letting you go through with this.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because you’re my friend and you asked for my help,” Quinn says, “because if it wasn’t me, you’d just pester Santana or Brittany or Tina into it or just bring a picture of me, because there’s nothing wrong with knowing what your options are so I’m fine to take pictures and let a doctor show you what you’d look like with my nose, and because you’re going through something and this is where I’m supposed to be when you need me, by your side like you’ve always been with me. It also gives me a chance to talk to you about this. Rachel, you don’t need a nose job.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rachel replies, “I have no doubt that those in this world with perfect faces and beautiful, flawless skin and bootylicious backsides think that physical things don’t matter but I assure you that your warped view of the world is no reflection of reality. I suppose you just naturally assume that everyone is nice and accommodating, right?”

“Well, you’re certainly doing your best to disabuse me of the notion of everyone being nice,” Quinn says.

“Good,” Rachel huffs.

“No, Rachel, I’m not under any such delusions. As you may recall, I went through a pretty rough time last year when most of the town looked down on me. You know what made it all suck a little less? Having a friend there to talk to, who was there for me when the world got to be too much.”

“Yes,” Rachel replies, “It must be nice to have someone like that in your life. It’s really unfortunate that I don’t.”

Quinn flips her magazine shut and tosses it lightly onto the table where she found it. “Alright, Rachel, I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone. When I was little…”

“You know what, Quinn? I don’t want to hear it!” Rachel snaps, “I’m not interested in any story about something from your idyllic childhood where everyone oohed and ahhed over perfect little Quinn, the human Barbie Doll. I don’t care! I don’t know how that hasn’t gotten through to you yet.”

Quinn is about to reply when the girls are interrupted, “Is everything okay over here?”

The girls look up and it’s the doctor. Rachel immediately smiles at him and says, “Yes, I’m very sorry. We were just having a minor disagreement that got out of hand. Again, I apologize.”

“No problem,” he said, “So we, uh, ready to pull the trigger?”

“No, not… not quite yet,” Rachel says, “Um, I was kind of hoping that I could get an idea of what I might look like after the procedure. Um, this is my… _friend,_ Quinn.”

“Nice nose.”

“Thank you.”

“Very nice.”

“Yes, well,” Rachel says, “I think I’d like it.”

“No problem,” the doctor replies quickly, “So I’ll click some pics, make up some photo composites. We’ll be ready to rock and roll.”

“No,” Quinn says abruptly, “No, I’m sorry, Rachel. I said I’d do this for you but I can’t. I’m just enabling you.”

“Quinn…”

“Rachel, you can butcher your face until you are completely unrecognizable,” Quinn says, “It won’t make your insecurities go away. Trust me on that.” She quickly looks to the doctor and says, “And you, what kind of a doctor are you who’s ready to operate on a girl whose parents aren’t even around? Have you even consulted them?”

“Quinn, please,” Rachel says.

“No, screw you, Rachel,” Quinn says quickly, “You don’t get to beg for my help and then berate me when I say something that you don’t like.”

\----

Quinn bolts out of the classroom leaving Lauren to gloat to an empty chair. She takes off running down the hallway thanking God that she wore flats today. Her stomach lurches as she sees it taped to the wall, her seventh grade yearbook photo blown up with the words “Vote for Lucy Caboosey” framing her chubby, zit covered face. She tears the thing down with some feral animal noise and then takes off again only to find another one less than five feet away. She rips it down and tears it in half before continuing on.

She finds another and another and another, realizing that it’s no use ripping them down. Everyone will have seen them by now. Lauren has undoubtedly told everyone who Lucy Caboosey is, so it’s over. She’s going to vomit. It’s not a matter of if, just where so she runs for the bathroom and makes it to the toilet in time.

When she’s cleaned herself back up, Quinn walks back into the hall, there she finds a very determined Rachel Berry yanking at one of the posters with all her might. It seems quite well affixed to the wall. Lauren and Puck had glued some of them, apparently. Then she sees the trash can that Rachel has dragged with her down the corridor, stuffed full of ripped bits of poster board.

“Rachel?” Quinn says.

Rachel lets go with a growl and manages to rip the finish off the lower half of Lucy’s face. The force of her tear spins her around quickly and the ever graceful Rachel Berry loses her balance and falls to the floor on her butt. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. When I saw them, I knew it was you, you have very distinctive eyes after all, and I tried to get them down, but they’re just everywhere and some of them are hung up too high for me to get a grip on them.”

“It’s okay,” Quinn says settling down on the floor next to her, “It means a lot that you tried this hard.” Rachel examines the piece of the poster in her hands before balling it up and throwing it towards the trash can. It goes in easily.

“You going to join the basketball team next?” Quinn teases.

Rachel chuckles humorlessly and they sit in silence for a couple of minutes. “This is what you were going to tell me in the doctor’s office, wasn’t it?” Quinn nods silently. Rachel catches the motion out of the corner of eye. “You were trying to open up to me and I wouldn’t listen. I’m such a brat. I’m so sorry, Quinn.” Quinn doesn’t answer but instead scoots herself further down the wall so she can lean her head on Rachel’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Quinn answers quickly. They sit there for a few more minutes without speaking again. Rachel begins to play with the ends of Quinn’s hair which makes Quinn sighs and smiles a little. She’s got her friend back and all it cost her was… “I guess it’s over,” Quinn says.

“Hiding your past?”

“No, my campaign for prom queen,” Quinn says. “I doubt Lauren will win but this will probably cost me enough votes that Santana will get the crown.”

“Quinn, being crowned prom queen is your dream,” Rachel says, “And, for as myopic as I personally think that dream is, you can’t give up on it at the first sign of adversity. How on Earth did you ever become head cheerleader with a defeatist attitude like that? Twice, no less.”

“Rachel, you saw the posters,” Quinn says.

“Yes, many of them and it’s a setback,” Rachel admits, “But that’s all it is. There’s still two weeks until prom. In teenager time, that might as well be several months. We just need a new plan.”

“We? Does…”

“Yes,” Rachel stands up effectively shutting down that conversation, “And step one is we get rid of the rest of these Lucy posters, covering up the ones that won’t come off. Step two is we go to my house to devise the rest of the steps. I’m sure my dads will be glad to see you again.”

“I’d really like to see them, too,” Quinn says. Rachel offers her a hand up, which due to their strength disparity has Quinn nearly pulling Rachel back to the floor instead. When both girls are back to a standing position Quinn says, “I suppose one of those steps is going to be another Fabray-Berry duet.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Rachel says linking hands with Quinn and leading them down the hall, “However, a Berry-Fabray duet would be a wonderful idea.” Before Quinn can respond to that, however, Rachel drags them both to a stop. “Quinn, before… that is, the other day in the doctor’s office, I want to apologize if I, in any way, made you feel bad about yourself or the way you look when I called you bootylicious.”

The bit back smile on Rachel’s face makes Quinn laugh, hard. “Shut up,” she says playfully.

“I meant it as a compliment. Your backside is very pleasant in both shape and mass,” Rachel says, still straight faced which only make Quinn laugh harder. “I’m serious, Quinn. Have you seen you? From the back?”

Quinn is red faced with laughter but manages to get herself under control after a minute. “Shut up and tell me what we should sing for the Fabray-Berry duet.”

“Berry-Fabray,” Rachel mutters under her breath before speaking aloud, “Now I know they’re a little before of our time, but tell me, Quinn, are you familiar with the works of the 90’s hip-hop/R&B trio TLC?


	6. Prom Queen

This pre-prom dinner was a bad idea. Quinn had known it would be from the moment the idea slipped from Rachel’s mouth. Things between Finn, Quinn, and Rachel have never been entirely sociable no matter which girl he’s with at the time, not when all three of them are together anyway. Jesse St. James serves as little more than gasoline on the already existing inferno.

From the moment they all sit down, Quinn wishes that she’d said no. Mercedes and Sam had been wise enough to bail, choosing the healthier alternative (both nutritionally and psychologically), the sub shop down the road. Quinn would go there now, with or without her boyfriend, if her mother hadn’t pounded into her head how rude such a thing would be. Finn’s just attacking Jesse at every turn. Every attempt Jesse makes to turn things in a more peaceful direction gets flung back in his face by Finn. Admittedly, Quinn’s not exactly _thrilled_ that Jesse’s back in Rachel’s life either but Rachel has asked her to give him a chance so she is. Rachel asked Finn the same thing, but Finn doesn’t seem interested in that. Quinn gives Jesse all the credit in the world. He never once loses his calm demeanor or succumbs to Finn’s taunting, though he does fling a couple of clever barbs back at Finn.

Normally, Quinn would be pissed at that but Finn hasn’t said a word to her and has hardly even glanced in her direction since setting eyes on Rachel. Admittedly, Rachel does look amazing in her strapless pink dress with her hair curled, but Quinn still doesn’t want her boyfriend staring at another woman all night, much less her best friend, his ex-girlfriend.

Quinn smiles through her teeth and tries to just get through dinner until she just can’t take the tension in the room anymore and excuses them to go to prom early and start campaigning hard for last minute votes. She texts Rachel to apologize for skipping out, but Rachel just thanks her for it. Apparently Quinn wasn’t the only hating how things turned out.

They just have to get through the night Quinn reminds herself. The gym is going to be very full, there’s a good chance they won’t even see Rachel and Jesse all that often tonight.

But of course, that doesn’t happen either. Rachel, Jesse, Mercedes, and Sam all make a showy entrance, already obviously laughing and having a lot fun. In fact, Quinn can’t help but notice that nearly everyone here seems to be having more fun than her. (Well, a life sized cutout of Dave Karofsky would appear more lifelike than the real Dave right now, though that isn’t much of a saving grace.) Isn’t this supposed to be her night, culmination of her very existence and all that?

They are the entertainment tonight and things go pretty well once the music starts. That is until Rachel sings her solo and burns up “Jar of Hearts” which sounds great but seems out of place at a prom. Quinn’s far less concerned about that though as she is about Finn’s attention being on Rachel. It’s not as though Quinn hasn’t known since about Regionals that her relationship with Finn has an expiration date, that he’d rather be with Rachel than her, but does the whole thing have to blow up _here_ , at prom?

She just wills them to get through this night and if… when she wins prom queen and they have that dance together… who knows, maybe it will feel so good that Quinn will want to fool around with Finn some, not all the way, of course, one teenage pregnancy was enough for her, but there are several things short of all the way. Maybe the confluence of all of those things will be enough to break whatever fascination Finn has with Rachel and things can finally go back to normal.

Rachel seems happy enough with Jesse, which is good, and as long as he remains on his best behavior (which so far, so good, he’s been sufficiently contrite to Rachel about the eggs, did his damnedest to be civil towards Finn, and he called Quinn the ghost of Grace Kelly, which is both flattering and accurate) then Quinn won’t have to flay him alive.

Just try to get through the ni... Nope, that's not happening because Finn starts a fight with Jesse and Coach is dragging them out by the ears. "But we're running for prom king and queen," Quinn protests feebly. She knows very well that Sue doesn't care at all about such things, and Quinn, of all people, is unlikely to change her mind.

"Sucks for you, sister," Coach Sylvester replies and carries on removing the quarrelling boys from the premises, as though she hadn't just summed up the whole of Quinn's life in four words.

It does, indeed, suck for Quinn because she knows now (though she won't admit it to herself or anyone else for some time yet) that her prom queen hopes are beyond her reach. Who knows, maybe they always were and she was just kidding herself. Maybe Lauren's big revelation had done them in, despite yeoman efforts from Rachel to spin her transformation. Maybe it was teenage pregnancy. She has the rest of her life to speculate.

Rachel looks contrite and apologetic, as though Finn's being a jackass was _her_ fault somehow. Quinn just shakes her head at her. Rachel shouldn’t apologize for him, for either one of them but certainly not for Quinn's boyfriend.

The announcements for king and queen come up and Quinn briefly thinks about not even going up there. She won't win now. However, she started this thing, so she's going to see it through. She stands there and listens to Karofsky's name being called and that kills whatever last slivers of hope that she might have. It's going to be Santana, and Quinn's going to have to listen to her gloat about it for the next year. She’ll probably wear the crown to school every day, just because she can.

Then they call Kurt's name and Quinn just loses all sense of herself. She knows she's fleeing the gym and she knows someone is following her but where she's going, who's following her, and what either of them are saying doesn't register. She just remembers thinking that she didn't get elected prom queen because queens are supposed to command the attention of all her subjects but Quinn couldn't even command the attention of her own stupid boyfriend.

She's shocked out of her headspace when her hand connects with Rachel's face. "I'm so sorry." Her level of self-hatred couldn't be any higher right now if she tried. She's never just hit anyone unprovoked before. Even that fight with Santana at the beginning of the year had just been a bunch of shoving and hair pulling and Santana had started that. She, on the other hand, has been hit just like that before...by her father. It wasn't often but it was often enough to make her mind immediately flash back to what he looked like when it happened. She wondered idly if she looked as ugly as he used to when hitting her.

"God Rachel, are you okay?" She asks. She's choking down the urge to vomit because she knows that if that happens then Rachel will begin comforting her and she doesn't really deserve that after what she just did and also because once Rachel starts, Quinn will almost certainly break down into a blubbering mess over the death of her prom queen dreams and the fact that her boyfriend is within days, at most, of leaving her... and probably over Beth too, since that subject is ever present and always good for a few tears.

Rachel walks silently over to the sink and slowly examines her face in the mirror. Quinn moves to stand next to her and waits for Rachel to say something. "You know," she starts slowly. "Most girls would be upset about being slapped in the face. I happen to appreciate the drama of it."

"I know you think it's hard to be you, Rachel," Quinn says, "and I know that in a lot of ways it is, but at least you don’t have to be afraid _all the time_.”

“What are you so scared of?” Rachel asks as she hands over some paper towels for Quinn to fix her make-up.

“The future,” Quinn says wiping her eyes, “What happens when all of this is gone.”

“What do you mean?” Rachel asks, “When _what_ is gone?”

Quinn sighs, “You’re the one with the big dreams and the bright future, Rachel. Even though it might _kill_ most of them to admit it, there’s not one person in this whole school who doesn’t know how talented you are. _Me,_ on the other hand, I’m the high school pretty girl who gets crowned prom queen, marries her high school boyfriend, goes nowhere in life, and refers to high school as the best years of her life. Except my high school boyfriend is more interested in you, I _hate_ this place, and I’m not prom queen, so I’m just a pretty girl who’s going nowhere.”

Rachel presses her lips together and shakes her head. “Look, you have _nothing_ to be scared of. You’re a very pretty girl, Quinn. Prettiest girl I’ve ever met. But you’re _a lot_ more than that. Here.” Rachel takes the paper towel back and starts wiping away Quinn’s smeared make up.

“You really believe in me, don’t you?” Quinn says after a minute.

“For as much as you believe in me,” Rachel says, “I believe in you _more_. Because whereas I am an exceptionally gifted singer and actress, you, Quinn, are the smartest person I know. You could do anything you want.”

“Okay,” Quinn says with a roll of her eyes.

“I’m serious, Quinn,” Rachel says, “If someday, many years from now, you are elected President of the United States, I’ll not be surprised.” Quinn snorts in laughter. “And in the meantime, if prom queen is still important to you, then there’s still another prom next year. We’ll win you that one for sure.”

“What do we do with the rest of this one? I mean, our dates are gone. We didn’t even get to get pictures with them.”

“Well, I don’t know about you,” Rachel says, “But I’m more than happy to spend the rest of the evening with my best friend and all of our other friends, singing, dancing, and having fun. We can take pictures with each other. Our dresses are even complementary colors.”

“You look really pretty, Rachel,” Quinn says, “I’m not sure if I already told you that or not.”

“You did, thank you,” Rachel replies, “But it never hurts to hear it again. You, of course, look amazing.”

“Thank you.”


	7. New York

“I think I’m going to tell him that Mercedes and Kurt keep sneaking out of here constantly to ogle Madison Avenue fashion,” Quinn says blowing past Santana and Brittany.

“You can’t do that,” Brittany says, “He’ll have to suspend them.”

“And then there go our chances at Nationals,” Quinn says, adding a mocking, “ _Darn_!”

“You know what, we get it,” Santana says, “You’re pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass. Get over it!”

“I DON’T WANT TO GET OVER IT! OKAY!?”

“The only person you’re sabotaging here is yourself,” Santana says surprisingly calm for having someone yelling in her face.

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT SOME _STUPID_ SHOW CHOIR SINGING COMPETITION!”

“Well, you should,” Santana counters, “This is the one chance we have to actually feel good about ourselves.”

“Brittany, Santana,” Rachel speaks up from the doorway startling all three of them, “Can Quinn and I have the room, please?”

Santana looks at Rachel like she just offered her a shopping cart full of breadsticks. “You want to deal with this emotional train wreck, be my guest, _please_.”

Rachel steps into the room out of the doorway and waits for Santana and Brittany to exit before moving to settle herself and Quinn down onto the bed near where Quinn was having her outburst. “Quinn, tell me what’s going on, please. What’s got you so worked up that you’re ready to sabotage our performance?”

“They have each other, Tina has Mike, Zizes hooks up, you have two guys chasing after you,” Quinn says softly, “Call me crazy but I think there’s something going on with Mercedes and Sam. What about me? Am I not the pretty, popular girl? When is it my turn? I…” Quinn stops to wipe away streams of tears. “I just want someone to love me, Rachel.”

Rachel shifts off the bed to kneel in front of Quinn, placing her hands of Quinn’s knees. She looks up at Quinn and waits until Quinn’s looking back at her before saying, “Someone _does_.”

“What?” Quinn says quickly followed by, “ _Who_?” Rachel doesn’t answer, just bites her lip and raises her eyebrows and lets Quinn work it out for herself. “You?” Quinn asks and Rachel nods ever so slightly. Quinn shakes her head and says, “Rachel, you know what meant.”

“Yes, Quinn,” Rachel replies, “I _do_ know what you meant.”

“You…” Quinn stared at Rachel open-mouthed for a long minute processing everything, “…love me? You love me?” Rachel nods again. “You _love me_ love me?” Rachel nods. “I… Rachel… I...”

“You don’t have to say anything, Quinn,” Rachel interrupts, “I know you aren’t gay… or into girls. I’m not telling you this as some pained confession of love hoping to have some hot make out session here. I know you’ll never love me back, not in the way I do you, anyway and that’s okay.” She pauses momentarily to reflect on her own words. “Actually that’s not true, it quite sucks, but it’s well beyond your control so you don’t need to apologize for it. I’m getting off track here, what was I saying?” She pauses again to think for a minute and Quinn slides off the bed to sit with Rachel in the floor. “Right, I don’t expect you to say it back. I came to terms with that awhile ago, okay? If my options with you are friends or nothing, then friends is an easy choice to make. I’m only telling you all of this because I don’t want you to slide further into this hole you’re already in and start thinking that there’s something wrong with you, like you’re unlovable, okay?” Quinn nods her head a little while looking away. Rachel brings her hand up to Quinn’s face guiding her looking Rachel in the eyes. “I’m going to need to hear the words here, okay? You are not unlovable, Quinn. You are very, _very_ lovable.”

Rachel is blinking away tears, which causes a mirror reaction in Quinn. “I am…” she pause to take and release a deep breath, “… _not_ unlovable.” Rachel smiles at her and leans forward to wrap Quinn up in a hug. Quinn buries her face in Rachel’s sweater and breaks down crying, big ugly sobbing. Rachel just holds her and strokes her hair while trying to reign in her sympathetic tears.

After a few minutes in this awkward position, Rachel adjusts them to where her back is against the foot of the bed and Quinn’s body is positioned between her legs and her head is resting against Rachel’s collarbone. Rachel continues running her fingers through Quinn’s hair gently and they stay like that for a while, Rachel doesn’t really pay attention to how long exactly. Eventually Quinn, face still pressed against Rachel’s chest, mutters, “Rachel, I need _help_.”

“I know, honey,” Rachel says softly as a stray tear escapes down her cheek, “We’ll get you all the help you need. I’m sure my dads will be happy to assist in any way they can.” Quinn buries her face once more and resumes crying. Rachel cradles Quinn’s head and presses her lips to the crown. “Hey,” she says softly into Quinn’s hair, “Hey, Quinn, you know just you asking for help is a _huge_ step, right?” Quinn nods her head against Rachel’s chest and sniffles several times getting herself composed. “I have an idea,” Rachel says. Quinn sits up still dabbing at her eyes and nose. “Let’s get out of here and go do something hugely irresponsible and fun.”

Quinn smiles at her and says, “What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” Rachel says, “What about if we, like, went to a salon and got mani-pedis and cut off a bunch of our hair off or something?” Quinn scoffs at first and then starts laughing in earnest, to the point where she almost falls over laughing so hard. “What? What’s so funny?”

“You are so vanilla,” Quinn says, “and that’s coming from _me_. Your idea of ‘hugely irresponsible’ is spending too much on a haircut? I thought you were more creative than that. I was expecting something like full on mad, like… didn’t you once send a girl to a crack house?”

“Is that what you want to do, Quinn? Drugs?” Rachel asks, “Because I...”

“No,” Quinn interrupts, “but I just meant that insane, Rachel Berry spirit. Like I think I was expecting you to say that we should sneak into the Gershwin and perform a Fabray-Berry duet on a Broadway stage.”

“Quinn! I am appalled!” Rachel folds her arms across her chest. “I would never in a million years suggest such a thing!” Quinn looks at her confused and Rachel’s face breaks out into a bright smile. “Now a Berry-Fabray duet, on the other hand, might be just _exactly_ what Broadway needs.” She uncrosses her arms and pushes herself up to her feet and offers a hand up to Quinn, which she accepts. “Up, up. Rehearsals start right now and run through our makeovers. Ready, good!” In typical Rachel Berry fashion, she breaks out into song with only a moment’s notice. “I’m limited! Just look at me - I'm limited!” She smiles at Quinn. “Do you know it?”

“I’ve heard it said,” Quinn sings in answer, “That people come into our lives... for a reason.” There’s a tremor in Quinn’s voice at the end of the line and her eyes well up once more.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Quinn,” Rachel says grabbing one of Quinn’s hands. “We’ll sing something else.”

“No, we will _not_ ,” Quinn counters quickly. There’s a heavy silence between them while Quinn steadies herself once again. “Rachel, I know it doesn’t mean what you may wish it means, but you know I _do_ love you, right?” Rachel bites her lip again, smiles, and nods. “I do, I seriously thank God for you every day. For as messed up as my head is right now, I don’t even want to think where I’d be without _you_ in my life.”

Rachel takes the two steps towards her and wraps her arms around Quinn’s waist as Quinn wraps hers around Rachel’s neck and shoulders. They both squeeze the other for all they are worth. Rachel rests her chin on Quinn’s shoulder where is it just so happens to fit, perfectly. She takes in the scent of vanilla body scrub that feels so much like home to her and sighs.

Quinn presses a kiss against Rachel’s temple and to Rachel it is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. It’s hard for her to be this close to Quinn without wanting to be closer, but at the same time it’s easier than to not have her at all. She feels like she needs to say something to break the tension to keep herself from crying, “Hey, Quinn, just this one time, really quickly, can I feel your butt?”

“Are you obsessed or something?”

“Little bit,” Rachel answers so quickly that she had to be expecting the question.

Quinn sighs and says, “Just this once, very quickly.” Rachel doesn’t hesitate to grab hold with all ten fingers. “Okay, that’s enough,” Quinn says after only about fifteen seconds. Rachel lets go and they break the hug, both reaching for their coats. “Was it everything you hoped it would be?” Quinn asks.

“It was glorious!” Rachel announces, before quickly breaking back into song, “Because I knew you…”

Quinn can’t help herself but laugh at her ridiculous friend. She may be depressed as hell, New Directions is most likely screwed at Nationals because they don’t have a setlist, but with company like this, it’s hard to doubt that things are going to be okay.


	8. Coda

Quinn sits in the floor in between the stacks of the library. She’s not sure how long she’s been there but she knows that her butt hurts from the sitting on the thin carpet over a concrete floor. She could easily relocate to a nearby chair but that’s sort of the opposite of what she’s going for here. She’s hiding. For as much as she feels stupid for doing it, she is still doing it. She has the library’s copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland open on her lap reading it for what has to be at least the fiftieth time… the book itself, not necessarily this particular copy. It’s kind of been her security blanket ever since she was little. Her therapist will probably call this regression or something. For the moment, Quinn just sees it as sparing her fragile sanity.

Quinn reads on, flipping pages quickly. She’s a fast reader anyway but with Alice the actual book is almost a formality at this point. She knows the story by heart, if not all the exact words and phrases used.

She feels someone’s gaze fall on her and while there’s a handful of people who might have come looking for her, there’s only one she truly suspects to have come. Sure enough a moment later, Rachel Berry settles into the floor next to her dragging out a book of her own, a weighty tome that Quinn recognizes as one of Rachel’s New York City guidebooks. She’s trying to commit as much of it to memory as possible before she moves so that she doesn’t actually need them when she’s there. Quinn sees her reading them constantly.

“What are you doing here?” Quinn asks softly

Without looking up from her book Rachel replies, “Hanging out with my best friend. What are you doing here?”

“Reading,” Quinn says.

“And also hiding,” Rachel replies.

Quinn sighs and admits, "Um, yeah, that too."

"Okay," Rachel says nonchalantly, finally looking up, "Is it alright if I hide _with_ you? I promise I won't disrupt your reading."

Quinn shuts her eyes and attempts to rub the tension out of her forehead. "Rachel," she says, "Why do you think I'm in here hiding, exactly? What do you think I’m hiding _from_?"

"I didn't wish to make assumptions," Rachel says, "I thought it could be to do with you starting therapy this morning. I know you have a tendency to be particularly defensive when unpleasant emotions are brought to light and therapy has a tendency to do that."

"Or?" Quinn prompts.

"Or you're avoiding me and/or Finn because of what's been dubbed 'The Kiss That Missed'," Rachel says, "But Quinn you have to know that I didn't want him to do that."

"Are you and Finn getting back together?"

"He wants to... _obviously_ ," Rachel says closing her book and setting it aside, "I told him I had to think about it. He was slightly upset about that. He was clearly hoping that some big, romantic gesture like that would be enough to win me back."

"And was it?"

"I'm not a prize to be won, Quinn," Rachel says rolling her eyes. Quinn sometimes forgets how much of a proud feminist Rachel can be at times... most of the time, actually, disrupted only occasionally by bouts of wanting a nose job to make a boy more interested in her. It's something Quinn's still learning to be herself, since feminist was a dirty word growing up in her house. "That being said," Rachel continues, "It's hard for me to _not_ want him, both for who he is and for what he represents."

Quinn doesn't speak, instead waiting for something approximating an actual answer.

"I think I'm in the same place with him that you were earlier in the year," Rachel says, "Our relationship ended so very suddenly, I never got any sort of closure to it, and I very obviously still have feelings for him. Did you ever wind up getting any sort of resolution when you got back together with him?"

"I figured out that he would always choose you over me," Quinn said, "I figured out that I don't like being someone's consolation prize or revenge impulse."

"Revenge?" Rachel echoed, "You think he got back together with you to try to hurt me?"

"I don't think that he necessarily thought it that far through," Quinn clarifies, "I think that might be giving him far more credit for being devious than he deserves. You guys were just in a cycle of hurting one another and like I said, I think it was more instinctive than anything." There hangs a heavy silence for a moment. "I'm not trying to poison him in your eyes," Quinn clarifies, "If you... if... I'll _deal_ , okay?"

"You'll deal? _Seriously_ , Quinn?" Rachel asks, "You’re hiding in the library to avoid just the possibility of seeing us together. You can’t even say the words much less actually reconcile yourself to the notion of Finn and me dating again."

"Rachel," she sighs, "I just- I want you to be _happy_ , okay? You've been there for me through everything and helped me _so much_ , and if being with Finn is what will make you happy, then you should do that. I promise I'll find a way to be okay with it. I- You're my best friend and you should do what makes you _happy_. I _want you_ to be happy."

Rachel scoots herself all the way against Quinn's side and rests her head on Quinn's shoulder. "Thank you, Quinn," Rachel says, "I want you to be happy too, so with that in mind I think I'm going to have find a way to let Finn down easily."

"Let him..." Quinn repeats, "Wait, so you're...?"

"Not getting back together with Finn?" Rachel finishes the sentence, "No, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it and our history is that we prioritize Finn over each another and as a result we spend more time apologizing to one another than we do just being friends and I'm sick of that." Rachel quickly popped her head back up. "And before you ask, this isn't about me waiting for you or anything like that."

"You're sure?" Quinn asks. "Because..."

"I made my peace with it, Quinn," Rachel confirms laying her head back down. "It's a simple objective measure. Our friendship is more important to me than any potential relationship with Finn, which let's face it, isn't going to last beyond graduation. Finn's never going to want to move to New York.  My future and his are incompatible. You, even just as a friend, mean more to me than Finn does. You're the one who has stuck by me even when I tried my best to make you leave. You're the one to talk me out of a nose job. You’re the one I turn to in times of trouble. Put in simple terms, _you_ are my person."

The passion and conviction with which Rachel delivers the speech make Quinn smile even as she rolls her eyes. "You know I don't watch that show. I don't know what that statement means, but you don't have to make this sacrifice for me."

"I just told you what it means and I know, you said that you'd find a way to deal," Rachel says lifting her head to look at Quinn as she speaks, "But for me it's not worth risking it. Being with Finn isn't worth even the chance that he might come between us... _again_. Now if you would please, I'd like to drop this subject. My decision is made. How did therapy go? Do you like your doctor?"

"I do," Quinn says, "Dr. Gilmore seems to be the right balance of being professional without seeming completely detached, you know?"Rachel nods. "She's smart and funny and seems insightful, although I guess that last one is sort of a job requirement."

"Good, I'm glad," Rachel says with a smile, "You know I'm proud of you, right?"

Quinn blushes and looks down at her lap, "I know, and I know that just in going that I'm making progress, but today was really simple stuff, all just background. Although there was one thing..."

"Quinn, I just want to interrupt you here to say that therapy is private and you don't have to tell me anything that you discuss unless you want to."

"I want to," Quinn says quickly. "We were talking about plans for the future and she asked about college and I just kind of brushed it off saying I'd probably wind up at OSU Lima, but she gave me a homework assignment to really sit and think about what I'd want to do if I could go anywhere. I’ve been going over it in my head. I have the 4.0 GPA, the extra-curriculars, the inspiring personal essay… and I have access to the money. I- I think I want to try for an Ivy. What do you think about Yale?"

Rachel's face lights up like a Christmas tree at Quinn. "I think that's a wonderful idea, Quinn! Although, I might be slightly happier still if you'd said Columbia, but Yale is an amazing school. New Haven isn't that far from New York either, less than 90 miles I think.” There’s a short silent moment between them before Rachel just flings her arms around Quinn who is startled at the reaction but not as much as she once would have been. “God, Quinn, I can't believe how excited it makes me hear you building your own dream. And might I say that this seems much more _you_ than 'prom queen-turned-real estate agent'?"

"Thank you," Quinn says and pauses a moment before asking, "Do you think I can get in?"

"Do I... _get in_?" Rachel repeats incredulously, pushing back from the hug, shaking her head slightly, "Quinn, I've told you before, you're the smartest person I know. Yale will be _lucky_ to have you."

Quinn bites her bottom lip and smiles, "Thank you, Rachel. Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how hard I tried to make you."

"Of course," Rachel says, "You're my person."

"I still don't know what that means," Quinn says.


End file.
